Maternity leave friends
I have the chance, the tiny honor, to be a member in good standing of a self-proclaimed group the " Cold Coffee League ".
A beautiful heteroclite gang of fantastic women; long-time friends, girlfriend of so-and-so, ex-friend from drinking, from life or from school, having acceded to the title of mom more or less at the same time.
Of my three maternity leaves, the one spent with them was without a doubt the most beautiful, the least isolated, the one where I felt the most supported.
I realize how lucky I was. When the pandemic arrived and the confinement hit us like a ton of bricks, I felt so sorry for the moms in the COVID area!
Who was going to tell them that they were doing that, when the lack of sleep or the 18th crisis of the morning were going to make them doubt their abilities big time?
Who would share with them their best tricks, their monumental fails or their anecdotes of Warriors of "no sleep"?
With whom would they laugh about their little and big anxieties after having sometimes cried for them, a little?
Me, in my backpack, I have memories of sweet and cacophonous playdates at the same time. Bursting laughter that relieves, reassuring words, knowing looks, a precious feeling of being supported, understood and validated at a time in my life when I needed it so much.
We had our habits. At least one meeting per month, everyone brings a simple dish, we arrive when we can, we leave when we want, no stress, no judgement.
Above all, no judgement. The good it has done us.
I sincerely hope that these people also existed in your space-time. That you know who to turn to, virtual or face-to-face, when things are going badly. Or, on the contrary, when you are so full of pride and love for your little ones that you feel like it would be a crime not to share them with the world!
Because there is that too! The happiness of seeing a village woven around your child. To see other adults you think bond with him. It's reassuring for a mother's heart, it fills it with a beautiful reassuring pride.
The "Cold Coffee League" moms are now all more or less back to work. Our appointments have been slowly spaced out, we give each other news via a Facebook group, we organize special activities when health measures allow. But I often think of them. Their presence yesterday still has an impact on my life today.
One day, in my early 20s, a friend who had 3 kids older than me, said to me:
"The friendships created when you become a mother often have difficulty withstanding time. You'll see, it's less serious than it looks. In life, people come and go. It's not the number of minutes they spend with you that counts, it's what you will have of their presence and the memories you will build that are."
I believe you have to experience it to fully understand it.
Thanks for that, ladies. Really.